The Orkish Bunny

Tales abound throughout the lands of Etheria of a mysterious creature who appears on or around the first full moon after the vernal equinox.

This hulking beast, known widely as Rabbit-Smasher the Orc, features in many tales designed to frighten young children. Many a parent has been heard to say "Do your chores, lad, or Rabbit-Smasher will get you!"

In most of the tales, Rabbit-Smasher will kill and skin a rabbit, draping its bloodied pelt over his head. He will then hide behind a rock or a fallen log, waiting for his unsuspecting prey - usually children - to pass by. When they are close he pokes out his head (adorned with its cute new bunny ears) and, in a sweet voice, offer his innocent young victims a small brightly-colored egg. When they approach, Rabbit-Smasher leaps upon them and devours them in a frenzied murderous rampage.

Few civilized folk believe in the existence of Rabbit-Smasher, but many is the traveler who claims to have seen or found a pile of old bones with the remnants of a colored egg nearby.

The Hot Cross Goblin

During the Siege of Lysea, as the Orkish Holy War neared its end, with the Orcs surrounding the capital city, one particularly clever Goblin conceived of a way to get inside the mighty Lysean gates.

A troop of 50 Goblin warriors readied themselves. Each one had a sweet hot brown substance, known as chocolate, poured over his body until he was completely encased in a sweet sticky egg-shaped prison. They were then wrapped in brightly-colored leaves and petals, and delivered to the gates of Lysea. The plan was that, once they had been taken inside the city, the Goblins would break free and open the gates for the Orkish army.

As is expected in these types of stories, the Lysean guardsmen brought the eggs inside the city walls, thinking they were a gift. However, this is where things started to wrong for the poor Goblins. Noticing the similarity between what was happening here (with the colored eggs) and the ancient tales of Rabbit-Smasher, the Emperor of Lysea ordered the city guard to smash the eggs.

Sure enough, they found 50 very hot, very cross Goblins inside, and slew them easily. Three days later the Orcs overran the city by more conventional means - knocking down the walls with large trees and boulders.

The tradition of covering Goblins in chocolate every year has, however, persisted in some parts of the Orkish community, particularly with the Trolls who give them to each other as gifts and refer to the Goblins as a "Soft Center" or a "Toy Surprise".

The Egg Chukka

Orcs and Trolls always seem to be looking for new things to throw at their enemies. So it was only a matter of time, given the rather odd Orkish history with brightly-colored eggs, before somebody thought of hurling these eggs into battle.

Various eggs were trialed, but it never really gained favor until the Orkish Warlord, Skablikka, raided the lair of a Fire Dragon and stole a clutch of Dragon eggs. With typical Orkish cunning he kept the eggs warm and ready-to-hatch as his horde marched over the mountains of Barad Dumyr towards Blackmoor - a city on the border between Theira and Siria.

The Orcs began the siege of Blackmoor in typical fashion, hurling rocks, sheep and any itinerant Goblins over the city walls. However on the third day of the siege, as the eggs were almost ready to hatch, Skablikka ordered them loaded onto catapults (and of course painted brightly in the ancient tradition of Rabbit-Smasher).

The Dragon Eggs flew into the city and smashed in the streets. Soon, a horde of small ravenous Fire Dragons were rampaging through Blackmoor eating everyone in sight. It was a masterful plan, except that when Skablikka and his troops finally entered the city, most of them were eaten by the Dragons too.

To this very day, the ruins of Blackmoor are off-limits to most sensible folk. A number of Dragons still dwell there - now fully grown and more dangerous than ever. As for Skablikka, he was never seen again, and most scholars believe that he was probably eaten by one of the Dragons.